Who Is An Enabler and Why You Should not Be An Enabler. Apr 4, 2016
Many beginners (entrepreneurs) and even those who have been in business for a long time, have such struggles and they are not understanding when to help or when not help.
When is appropriate to help and not to help?
How much and how much not to help?
One of the reasons that people have these enabling related issues is that they are dealing with lots and lots of family dysfunction. These issues inside of dysfunctional families are so prevalent. Many people are very confused about what is really helping. (Family relationship although is very important, we will not discuss this now.)
Let’s talk about a business relationship.
First you have to become completely clear about what your business goals are.
When you are sticking and following your goal, do not feel you are cut and dry or being cold.
Don’t feel you are being heartless, when you have to say “no” to some people.
Being Logical:
When you are doing business, you have to aim to have good results.
What ever you do, your action must be logical and must be consistent with your goals.
Anything you do inside of your business, you must qualify them based on measurable results.
What does enabling look like in business?
You are willing to spend so much time and energy on going along someone asking you to help him or even that was not asked of you, you do this anyway knowing that your time and energy will be completely wasted.
Thomas Edison saw something special. Ed Burns showed up almost in rags to work for Edison. Burn’s burning desire was to be Edison’s partner. But he didn’t demand, he was willing to do anything. So Edison did hire him at a low entry position. (From Napoleon Hill” Think and Grow Rich)
Often people come to start a home based business trying their luck. Many of them don’t expect to spend any time or energy to make their new business succeed. Many of them come completely broke.
As a business owner, or a coach, you must become aware that you cannot spend all your time and energy to help such people on their business. Some business owners even give money for these people to start their business.
In the world of entrepreneurship, it doesn’t work to help needy people, does it? You must learn to say, “No” in a nice way, though.
It’s not that you care.
It’s not that you are cold hearted.
I’ve had many subscribers approach me saying,
“I need money. Can you give me money? Can you loan money. My father is very sick. I’ll pay you back when I succeed.” “My family is in another country. I’m stuck in America. Please help me.”
My heart goes out to those who are in need. But in the business world, people are responsible to start up their own business.
It’ ok if you are in need to ask your family member or very close and good friends who has lots of dealings with you… and ask for help.
When a total stranger comes and asks for you to help to start his business;
someone who’s just starting his business,
and very needy and end up expending so much of your time with all types of help,
then you have to decide…
Ask yourself this question,
“Why am I in business?”
“What am I in for?”
Your answer is,
“I am doing this business for my time and money freedom. For my family.”
“I ‘d like to present a model to everyone else (your downline) is in for his time and money freedom, too.”
- There are people who are so needy
- who are so lost
- who don’t learn and are not coachable
- who think they are totally unable or incapable to help themselves
- and to come up with their own resources
- and think so negative of themselves
- aren’t the people you can work with.
Most of them are better off finding a job.
Set up your boundary.
Make it OK in your heart.
Once you create time and money freedom for yourself, what you can do for others expand tremendously.
There are many successful entrepreneurs
- who feed the hungry children,
- go on mission to distant villages,
- and help out in their community.
Being an enabler will not serve your goal and mission.
Meet some of my friends who have used this system to create time and money freedom. Many of these successful entrepreneurs give very generously. Learn more about this mindset and business opportunity.
To Your Happiness and Success,
Yukiko Iino