Do You Struggle To Change Yourself? 12 Secret Stages Of Change

1. Ignorance is always afraid of change.

   Jawaharlal Nehru

    

   Stage 1: At first YOU just exist either very comfortable and miserable; or enjoying and happy … the way things are. Or simply putting up with YOUR unhappiness and unacceptable situation. Or just being complacent not really feeling or thinking deeply. YOU just cling to what YOU know.

   Stage 1 Exercise: Adapt and Apply Step 1 – Fill what is applicable to your personal situation in [ ].

   I admit I am powerless over [write your own comment] and that my life has become unmanageable.

2. Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.

   George Bernard Shaw

   

   Stage 2: Whatever and however YOU experience YOUR life, things change inevitably around YOU and YOU are affected by these changes. Nothing remains the same. War, natural disaster, death of loved ones, ill health, children getting older and leaving home. Economy goes up and down. Unemployment, business failures. YOU begin to feel something must change.
   
   Stage 2 Exercise: Adapt and Apply Step 2- Fill what is applicable to your personal situation in [ ].
   I am willing to believe that [write your own comment ] than myself can restore me to [ write your own comment].

3. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

   Reinhold Niebuhr

   

   Stage 3: Then one day YOU realize that YOU must seek guidance. YOU must let go… Out of awakening or desperation. The things YOU cannot change and the things YOU can change.  YOU pray to understand and distinguish the difference. YOU want to be helped. YOU don’t want things to be where they are.

   This is a short version of the Serenity Prayer that is very dear to many millions of people around the world.   They recite this prayer very often every day.  Every year at the beginning of the year, I reflect on the meaning of serenity in my personal and business life.

   These are my five blog articles on the topic of achieving serenity:

   [1]   New Meaning of Serenity: the Way of Personal and Business Life (Hope for Today Excerpt)

   [2]  New Meaning of Serenity: the Way of Personal and Business Life Day #2- Serenity as the Inner Stability

   [3]  New Meaning of Serenity: the Way of Personal and Business Life: Day #3- Positive and Negative Impulses
   

   Stage 3 Exercise: Adapt and Apply Step 3 – Fill what is applicable to your personal situation in [ ].
   

   I am making a decision to turn my will and my life over to [ write your own comment] as I understand [write your own comment ].

4. To change a habit, make a conscious decision, then act out the new behavior.

   Maxwell Maltz

   

   Stage 4:  YOU begin to take inventory of YOURSELF.  How YOU are acting and behaving.  What YOUR strengths and weaknesses are.  Mostly YOU thought of YOURSELF as a victim.   Begin to think how YOU can make some changes.

   Stage 4 Exercise: Adapt and Apply Step 4 – Fill what is applicable to your personal situation in [ ].
   I am making a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself.
   My strengths are [ write your own comment]
   My weaknesses are [ write your own comment]
   I am willing to work with each and every single item on this list to change myself…

5. Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.

   Keri Russell

   

   Stage 5:  YOU begin to sense some shifts. YOU are kinder and more forgiving of yourself.
   A small change YOU make seem to make a big difference.
   

   
   Stage 5 Exercise: Adapt and Apply Step 5, I Admit to [name something more powerful than yourself ], to myself, and to [another human being, name this person] the exact nature of [list your weaknesses ].

6. Failed plans should not be interpreted as a failed vision. Visions don’t change, they are only refined. Plans rarely stay the same, and are scrapped or adjusted as needed. Be stubborn about the vision, but flexible with your plan.

   John C. Maxwell
   

   Stage 6:  YOU are now beginning to have dreams. YOUR thinking is much more organized. YOU are now living according to plans you draw out. YOU don’t perceive life as black and white.
   YOU see that life embraces opposites: good and bad; success and failure. Easy and hard.
   YOU are learning to respond and be more adaptable.
   
   Stage 6 Exercise: Adapt and Apply Step 6.  I am entirely ready to have [ new source of power for you ] remove [ list all your sense of failure ] and I replace with [your renewed vision].

7. Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay.

   Simone de Beauvoir

   

   Stage 7:  Living fully and living in the moment are now YOUR mantra. YOU are the man; YOU are the woman of action. YOU and YOUR action you take now change your life.
   
   Stage 7 Exercise: Adapt and Apply Step 7.  Humbly ask and request to remove [list your weaknesses ] and by writing down them here I declare to let them go.

8. The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.

   Oprah Winfrey
   
   

   

   Stage 8:  It all began with YOUR awareness and perception.

   When YOU combined your feelings, thoughts and action and they were in harmony.

   YOU begin to change how YOU feel toward certain people in your life. How to think about certain things that happened in the past change.

   How you treat and act toward these people and places and things… change. Then YOU are transforming YOUR attitude. Nothing else could ever change your life or your future unless YOU change YOUR attitude.
   
   Stage 8 Exercise: Adapt and Apply Step 8- I may have been be focused on being hurt and wronged by someone else or the society.  Today I make a list of all persons I have harmed [make your list here] and I am willing to make amends to them all. I make sure to include myself on top of this list.

9. Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.

   Margaret Mead
   

   Stage 9:  YOUR confidence and courage can move a mountain if YOU work with a small group of like-minded people. YOU are not alone. YOUR struggles were never meant just for YOU alone to suffer. Who will be these few caring people in YOUR life?

   Stage 9 Exercise: Adapt and Apply Step 9
   Made direct amends to such people [ make your own list ] wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

   Begin to sort out your list and find out who are the right candidates of your like-minded people for you to work with. You may have to seek out these new people.

10. Change is a process and not an event.

    James O. Prochaska
    

    Stage 10:  Have been to a great weekend workshop? To some phenomenal seminars? To a major event? As you heard a speaker after speaker, you got more uplifted. You began to believe in yourself once again. You got so inspired and motivated. Suddenly you saw a  new path clearly ahead of you. You clearly had breakthroughs. You went back home and started to make some changes. But weeks and months later you were still struggling to make changes. Your awareness and thoughts went through a major breakthrough. But those things didn’t quite manifest in your life.

    You must engage in a daily process. Your plan to change must be carried out consistently. Even when it gets really hard and challenging you must persist and strive to make a progress. Begin here.

    Stage 10 Exercise: Adapt and Apply Step 10- Fill what is applicable to your personal situation in [ ].

    Continue to take personal inventory of [write your own comment ] and when I am wrong promptly admit it.

11. Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.

    John F. Kennedy

    

    Stage 11:  YOU made peace with YOUR past. YOU are no longer just concerned how good YOU feel today.
    How much you gained and achieved. YOU say cheers to YOUR success and look beyond what is ahead of YOU.  By now you may have realized that the source of your power and courage doesn’t just come from YOU alone … by feeling, thinking and acting relying on yourself only.  Have you been praying and meditating. Have you reached a deeper understanding of prayer and meditation by practicing daily?

    Stage 11 Exercise: Adapt and Apply Step 11- Fill what is applicable to your personal situation in [ ].  Sought through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with [ write you own comment]  praying only for knowledge of [write your own comment ] and the power to carry that out.

     

12. You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

    Mahatma Gandhi
    

    Stage 12:  YOU are now fully awakened that YOUR life is not just about you and your family.
    There has been something inside of YOU all these years that was stirring. Now you have a deep calling within YOU to help and influence others to create a brighter future for everyone.

    Stage 12 Exercise: Adapt and Apply Step 12- Fill what is applicable to your personal situation in [ ].
    Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of [write your own comment ]
    I will carry this message of [write your own comment ] to others, and practice these principles in all my affairs.  

Suggested Way of Doing Exercise:

Take at least one week for each step.
It is not necessary to follow the sequence.
Allow 15- 30 minutes on each exercise.
Write a journal or blog the process and progress of your change.

PDF on the 12 Steps from the Alcoholics Anonymous available here.

The Blogger’s Thoughts:

When you make one small change, it opens a door to another change. When you share you progress with another person who is on the same page as you are; the changes you are making become more pronounced and powerful.

Why is it so difficult to change?  Because of fear?  People only try to make external changes.  Resignation.  Being a prisoner of themselves. The only way to be able to change is to understand that change is a process and not an event.  You cannot change alone.   Maxwell Maltz said, “To change a habit, make a conscious decision, then act out the new behavior.”  But that’s still around the fourth stage of change.  People go through many changes.   And a very important transformation  happens at the 12 the stage.  Mahatma Gandhi said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

I believe each person can be an agent of change and personal growth to thousands of others who are frustrated, stuck and struggling to improve their life. I found blogging to be a powerful medium of expression and tool in the digital Revolution.
It allows me to reflect on my life.
I share with my subscribers and add value to them.
I can reach so many more people than if I am just doing workshops locally.

My Online academy community members are blogging or making videos.   They are always and adding value to their subscribers.  This system also allows us to make money sharing what we feel are very meaningful.  If you would like to be a more effective change agent; create residual income; and teach others to do the same, watch this FREE Video Presentation.

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